THE SHEP BLOG

Saw 'Em Off

My sister invited me and some friends down to Chilifest this past weekend. I've never been out drinking in College Station, and was excited to spread my drunken cheer in a new city. We stopped in a drive-through beer barn on the way in that served margaritas, which I thought was pretty cool. We went out to Northgate about 9 or 10 after playing drinking games at Emily's apartment. We started out at the famous Dixie Chicken. It was a little too crowded for our taste so we only stayed long enough to drink a couple $1 pearl beers. Then came the dry bean. A small bar that exclusively serves shots...and shots alone...not to mention at a reasonable price. It was an equasion for a disasterous night. An awesomly disasterous night. The shot progression went like this...
-jagerbomb
-sex with a crocodile
-jagerbomb
-blowjob, Edgar got some in his eye which makes it ironic
-a few more I can't remember specifically

We would have ordered more but got kicked out for starting a "saw 'em off" chant.

Moved to a different bar and ordered a "flaming" Dr. Pepper. The only problem was they didn't light it on fire. They should have just called it an alcoholic beverage that kinda tastes like a Dr. Pepper but not really...shitty ass aggies. And not that we didn't try to get them to light the damn thing. They would'nt do it. In fact, they down right refused. And when we asked if we could light them ourselves, those fuckers just glared at us. I can assure you if we'd have been at Scruff's they'd have lit that bitch up in a heartbeat.

We almost died on the ride home...

A girl that was hanging out with us insisted she was sober, so we headed for the parking garage. On the way over, the shirts came off and saw 'em off was heard resonating through the garage. Six grown men were piled into a tiny-ass acura. The driver hit two cars before we left the building... I began to worry. The ride home was like riding a roller coaster, complete with sharp turns and screaming. Anyway, the drunk-ass driver gets us lost and refuses to pull over to get directions. A quick thinking Keene faked a claustrophobic fit and got her to pull over. From a Kettle resturaunt I called Emily to come get us. While waiting, Woody started salsa dancing with a hispanic couple in the parking lot... I sat on the grass and reflected.

The actual Chilifest was not all that exciting. One of Emily's friends threw up in a keystone box. Robert Earl Keen was kick-ass. I got some free snuff and shotgunned a bunch of beers.

I plan to go back soon...