my computer is down so im making this post from the sub...i dont like doing this so dont expect any post for a while loyal fans of shep.

Stroker Ace gets more ass than Hugh Grant and Lee Mitchell put together.

My Second Day of College

Of all the dumb shit I've done during my tenure here, I believe this is the biggest lapse of judgement to date.

When I say "my second day of college", I don't mean the second day of classes. I'm referring to the second day of welcome week. We had barely finished unpacking, and immediatly started looking for something to do that night. A friend of mine from high school was down visiting his brother who went to Baylor, so I decided to give him a call. He said they were at Graham's watching the Texas bikini team but they were heading back to the house in a minute to start drinking.

Anthony and I quickly headed over to the house in hopes of experiencing college in full force. Unbeknownst to me, the two members of the bikini team had come home with these guys. I was thrilled.

The next few hours was a haze, but this is what I can recall.

I gave a speech in the living room in front of a bunch of guys I'd just met upon which the basis was how much I loved college and how great everything was.

One of the bikini girls was real drunk so she did'nt notice me gawking at her chest.

We ran out of keystone and I started mixing vodka and coke.

Anthony left about 2, but I stayed till 4.

Someone drove me back to Penland and dropped me off.

I stumbled up the walkway into the lobby (This is at a point where they were still checking student i.d.'s) and the guy at the desk asked me for my i.d.

I said, "ohhhh, oookkk."and tried to fish out my wallet.

My lack of motor skills at the time caused me to fling my wallet halfway accross the room and run bumbling after it.

As I started walking upstairs my stomach started to wretch. I fought it off as usual. I hate throwing up.

I finally get in my dormroom and lock the door. With a sense of accomplishment, I go to lay in bed.

The second my back hits the bed, it all comes up. I sprint to the sink and unload.

Anthony, feeling sorry for me, sat up in bed and said, "clean that shit up."

I was glad we were roommates.

Actors, T.V. Personalities, and Celebrities I Hate

I'm watching Daredevil on FX right now and I was just thinking about how much Ben Afleck pisses me off. Then I thought about others who piss me off just as much.

1. Ben Afleck: smartass

2. Paul Walker: same accent in every movie, sounds like Keanu Reeves in the "Bill and Ted" movies, only this is how he really talks...douche

3. Jason Biggs: enough said

4. Elija Wood: pussy

5. Orlando Bloom: every character he has played besides the elf in "lord of the rings" has been a skinny wuss with shitty facial hair.

6. Ryan Seacrest: everyone hates this guy so I won't elaborate

7. Reba McEntyre: caught a few minutes of her series one time... mistake

8. David Spade: not funny... when Chris Farley died (God rest his soul) so did Spade

9. Ray Ramano: I hate Raymond. I keep getting it shoved in my face for 2 1/2 hours a day on three different networks

10. Nicole Kidman: not hot. I hate Austrillians... other than Steve Irwin.

11. Heath Ledger: "Brokeback Mountain" is only one of millions of reasons I hate this queerbait.

12. Jake Gyllenthal: will never go see another movie this guy is in

13. Nick Cannon: wild'n'out is the worst show on t.v.

14. Dennis Leary: known for being a sarcastic asshole...never dissapoints. his Christmas special on comedy central made me watch "Raymond" instead

15. David Schwimer: I hate "Friends". This guy is king of that dumbass cast

i hate valentines

Happy Halloween.

Fast Times at Scruffy Murphey's

Here is an account of what went on Thursday Febuary 9th, 2006 between the hours of apx. 12:00am and 2:00am. at 1226 Speight Ave.

12:00am- Trail Boss, Dub, and myself leave George's and head to Scruffs to tie a few on.

12:05am- Bobby the doorman greets us and we head to the bar to wait half an hour for a damn beer amid barrats, and fat chicks.

12:30am- I get two Coors and go talk to Bobby at the door. Boss is talking to some obscure law school friend, and Dub is already yelling at people entering and leaving the bar.

12:45am- I wander around for a while, stopping only shortly to talk to people I usually see at Scruffs and admire a scantily clad fem.

1:00am- Head to the bathroom, Wardlaw is now yelling out the door at the people waiting in line. The only audible remarks were "show me your left tit" and "Hi, Chris Wardlaw, TABC."

1:05am- Go to the bar to get another drink, the line is not as long and I see a friend slouched over the counter.

1:06am- I get up to him and say hi, he asks me if I want a jagerbomb. Dub is all of a sudden right over my shoulder and exclaims he would like one too.

1:10am- We take our shots and order up another one. I was pretty drunk before I even got to George's and it was starting to affect me because I had to fight off my dinner from coming back up.

1:20am- I'm hammered

1:30am- Still hammered, walk around, go to the bathroom again.

1:45am- Bobby comes up to me in the pool room and tells me I need to talk to Wardlaw or else he's going to have to kick him out.

1:49am- Wardlaw is pretty hostile. Apparently some guy had tried to walk out and needed to get by him on order to leave. He said, "The Dub moves for no one," and instigated a fight.

1:55am- Finally leave, Wardlaw rides in the back because he's pretty pissed.

2:00am- I get a man hug.

what the f**k kansas state guy

i finally saw the clip of the president speaking at k-state a few weeks ago. apalled isnt really an appropriate term for how i felt, i just sat back and thought "what the f**k is this guy thinking?"
here is the leader of the free world and your asking him some dumb-shit question like that? it started out serious enough. he was leading toward a question about ranching, which he could have taken in a legitimate direction. such as asking about agriculture or the role farmers will play in a revamped economy. but instead this asshole askes the president if he's seen brokeback mountain and what he thought about it. of course he has'nt seen that blasphemous abortion of the great american western. this dipshit knew that from square one, yet he still has the gall to make an ass out of himself in front of the president and his peers. im sure this guy was sitting at the house the night before pounding mikes hard lemonade and telling all his buddies his devious plan for the next day. "oh yeah bra, that would be effin hilarious" they said, not really believing anyone could possibly be that ignorant. sure enough he comes through with his promise. and of course bush stumbled through the question, he was trying to stop himself from tearing ass down the aisle and strangling this guy. the president could'nt tell him what he truly felt. if he did, he would have said something like, "no i have'nt seen that piece of shit, i don't plan on seeing it ever. i was in the screening room at the white house when it came out and was asked if i wanted to watch it. i said 'no, put on weekend at bernies again' THATS a movie. oh and i hate fags." next question please.

my overall review of the super bowl and surrounding events

im going to grade all aspects on a standard scale of "A+" to "F"

Game: C+ (i'm glad the steelers won, but if the cowboys are not in it i could really give a rip)

Commercials: B- (especially liked the Ameriquest one when he kills the fly with the defibulator in the hospital patient's room and says "well that killed him" at the same time the wife and daughter walk in.)

Food: A (woody's dip put it in the A's, and the cake he went and bought b/c he saw a commecial with cake in it and had to have some)

Drinks: A+ (free beer dub stole and plenty of twang)

Drinking Game: A (the system went as follows)
touchdown- 7 drinks
turnover- 10 drinks
field goal- 3 drinks
3rd down conversion- 5 drinks
punt and kickoff returns- drink from the time the ball touches the foot until the play ends
sack-3 drinks
funny commercial- 3 drinks
20 yard play- 5 drinks

Halftime: F (i don't like the rolling stones. they looked like mummys on stage. i wish mtv still did the celebrity deathmatch halftime fight. i'm a big fan of claymation)

shirtless dub and the wrongful bitch-slap

it was the last wednesday in january. we decided to head up to karaoke at treffs and see our old friend skarky. he greeted us right when we walked in with a "holy shit, i think i see shep and some of the old school guys." i dont know why i was specifically mentioned, he knows stone and edgar just as well, in fact they have put on more powerhouse performances than i could ever hope to in a lifetime...needless to say things were strange from the beginning. as we got sat down and started ordering drinks, i noticed two girls grinding on each other in the corner...which is wierd for karaoke because two black guys usually dont get up and sing a spot on lil' jon tune, its usually nerdy white guys singing seal or some other lost gem...this makes me stone and edgar seem like karaoke dynamos...but these guys were going to give us a run for our money. as the night progressed, those damn girls kept on grinding up on each other...and finally one of them got up on a chair right in front of me and started shaking her ass right in my face. what was i to do? should i just stare at for the duration of her chair dance? does she want me to tip her? but before i could make up my mind on what to do, dub reaches accross me and gives her a good solid pinch. i was fairly befuttled at the situation, but thought nothing of it until she turned around promptly and FUCKING SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE!!...WHAT THE HELL?!?!...i was outraged...seriously. but being the gentleman i am, i just sta there and waited for the song to end so i could tell her about the grave miscalculation she made. however, before the song was over that dipshit warlaw reached over and grabbed her ass again. this time i was ready. i covered my face with my arm while pointing to wardlaw. as i looked around i saw everyone else at the table was pointing at him too, even the friend she came with. i felt safe enough to turn around put my arm down, but he second i did, this bitch GRABS MY FACE AND SQUARES IT UP SO SHE CAN SMACK THE SHIT OUT OF ME AGAIN!!! im really too pissed to continue ive flustered myself.....i guess ill continue the story later because it gets even better... ive got to go to hooters anyway...

this picture makes me crack up

new years eve revisited

well its late im allitte drunk from vowling niht but im thinking alot about new years at this pontn in the bank .. then gist of it is i got durnk and sisnt get a kiss at midnoght i threw up in the bar and was rudly escorted iut woody picked a fight an i peed in the ice bucket ii slept in thr sam ebed as wooyd an dit was nice oh an dstione kised 2 asians atthe asame tim e edgar frenched som e chick dub took his shirt off assper usual ...........................................................................dot theres a keith urban concert his weekend i fuckin haaaatee kieth urban that aussie bastard