Following up my previous post, I've decided to take my own advise. Treating people with respect is just not working out like I planned. Originally, the plan was to give others the benefit of the doubt and be a kind, courteous human being.
I think from now on I will act according to how I've been treated in the past.
Morning:
I wake up and eat some food out of the fridge thats not mine (thats not new, I always do that, but I had to start somewhere.)
Send out a couple viruses on IM and laugh at how many people think I sent them a link to, "Chupacabra Killed in Mexico: Exclusive Photos!!" Dumbasses.
Drive to class. When I come to a fourway stopsign, I just speed right on through with those other tools just sitting there waiting their turns... someone had the gall to honk at me, I honked back and shot'em the bird.
Pedestrians have the right-of-way... my ass they do. Take your headphones off, and quit listening to the Black-Eyed Peas before you catch a grill and need a new hip.
I try to find a parking spot. I'm roughly five cars in line for the next open space. I go ahead and pull around and grab the next spot out of turn.
On my way to class, I notice a girl has dropped her books. She was bent over which gave me the perfect opportunity to cop a feel... which I took advantage of. She called me an asshole, so I shot her the bird.
Tripped a guy on crutches who was taking up too much hall space... bird.
Sat in class an said, "that's what she said" everytime the opportunity presented itself. Also made paper airplanes and threw them at a guy wearing a billed beanie.
look out innocent bystanders
Afternoon:
Walked around stepping on everyone's heels so their shoes came off.
Threw a football with incredible velocity into a crowd and yelled, "a little help?"
Drove as fast as I could everywhere I went, and revved the engine when I drove past people walking.
Keyed a bunch of cars.
Clogged the Business school toliet and stole all the TP.
Went to lunch and took my sweet ass time pulling up to the next window.
Night:
Borrowed a bunch of movies I did'nt plan on returning.
Went to the bar and quoted a bunch of lines from popular movies.
Bumped into a guy with my shoulder. He said, "excuse ME, bro." Nutshot.
Played "Simple Man" 8 or 9 times on the jukebox... sang every word, every time.
Told girls I could see their thongs.
Pulled and snapped bra straps and laughed hysterically saying, "that was priceless!"
Went and had some glamour shots taken and posted them on myspace.
Called Jake a pussy.
All in all it was a pretty fulfilling day.
1 comment:
i hear that's what ass holes do....the salt thing
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