"Well I was going to do my normal sushi and then head over Mercy's house," this was a blue tooth phone conversation overheard at a Dallas Barnes&Noble. I had tagged along with Fretty & Kim on Saturday afternoon while they looked at wedding magazines. I had gone along for a margarita and wanted to look for a geology book I had been wanting to get. Of course they didn't have it, so I wandered around looking for a potential read that didn't involve global warming or ethanol gasoline. Once again, no such luck. Every single earth science book they carried had something to do with an eminent catastrophe, which I think is just bullshit. (refer to Y2K) It's just a way to get people to buy nonsensical crap with no real factual evidence because of some "global disaster" that will end us all. I admit the fossil fuel shortage is an actual problem, but nothing will be done about it until it absolutely necessary. That's just how it is. When the world needs an alternative fuel source, it will become available. And mark my words, ethanol WILL NOT be the cure-all answer everyone thinks it is. Fact: Ethanol cannot be shipped through pipelines because of its corrosive nature. This means it will have to be shipped through trucks meaning it will be MORE expensive at the pumps. Fact: U.S. agriculture can account for less than 1% of the fuel needs of the country. This means that if all the corn grown in the U.S. today were used solely for the purpose of ethanol manufacturing, it would meet less than 1% of the fuel demand. Fact: The corrosive nature of ethanol means shorter engine life for cars. Ethanol ruins engines, so be prepared to buy a new car in 3 to 4 years.
Anyway, I've gotten off subject...
So the evening before the Barnes&Noble trip, we spent the night at the Village country club. They were holding a karaoke contest that night and I was highly excited to say the least. I sang The Band's classic "The Weight" which went over very well with the crowd. However, I was not counting on a smoking hot blond singing a sultry number that had the crowd's tongues hanging out. After all the performers were finished, we were called up to the stage to get voted on by the crowd. I had made the final four along with Stone, who had given a rousing rendition of "Come Sail Away", the hot blond, and some dork who had sung Frank Sinatra. Stone and blondie were shoe-ins, and I thought I was too, but I had not counted on all the metrosexuals voting for the Sinatra nerd. Although I should have known better, because all these metro-asses think they are reincarnations of the Rat-Pack anyway. Needless to say, I lost. I drowned my sorrows in $3.25 beers and bummed-cigarettes, not to mention the biggest jagerbomb ever. I can still taste that thing when I burp. But I decided to pull out the big guns and show the crowd what they had passed on. I got back up to the karaoke stage and performed a spirited Meatloaf. I like to think they were kicking themselves the entire performance.
Saturday we went to Uptown bar and grill, one of my favorite places in Dallas. They were having their weekly karaoke night Saturday and again we sang and drank to our hearts content. Kevin and Jordan had arrived from a wedding in which Jordan had had a few drinks and was having the most fun of anybody. She proclaimed she was my number one fan, which I would have taken more seriously if she hadn't tried to grab my beer I had ordered and tried to drink it. I noticed she was a close talker when intoxicated by the proximity she put her face to mine, once penetrating my ear with her nose. Everyone who came up to talk to me was informed she was my number one fan, per her request. I would try to talk to someone and Jordan would fly in and get in my ear and tell me to tell them who my number one fan was. Bill Floyd came over to say hi, and Jordan leaned over and glared at him and asked, "who is this?" I introduced her to Bill and then she added, "what do you want." Bill asked me a question to which I replied, and then Jordan promptly said, "OK, you can leave now." Bill was highly confused. I don't think my number one fan thought too highly of Bill.
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