Shep Drinks Everclear

This is a short story but hopefully enjoyable enough to merit posting.

One day my roommate Lee (who used to be crazy, but has since changed) had the idea that everclear tasted good in Mountain Dew. So, throughout the day, we went everywhere that was worth a damn in Waco with an everclear drink not too far away.

A list of some everclear induced activities:

-played drunk catch (1:00p.m.)
-went to the pool
-watched a movie
-I think we just rode around in the back of a pickup for a while
-went to La Fiesta
-went to a party
-came home and went to bed (1:00 a.m.)

It would later be known as the 12 hours of everclear. I still think I have some drain bamage from the whole ordeal.

What I did not know about everclear and drinking it in excess, was that it tears your stomach into shreads.

When I got up the next morning, I could do nothing but just lay there and spin.

I thought I needed to fart, but when I lifted my leg to expell the fowlness I shit my underwear. I had to think fast on a way to get out of bed without getting any on my sheets. Thank goodness I was wearing my ultra absorbent boxer-briefs.

As I gently rolled out of bed I grabbed the legs of my briefs so not to let any raw shit hit the floor. If anybody has ever seen our old Daughtrey house the hallway leading to the bathroom is about as wide as a piece of notebook paper. So I had to penguin walk my big shit covered ass through that damn thing, finally making it to the bathroom.

When I sat down on the toilet, it sounded like sombody spraying a high pressure hose in a mud puddle. It was probably the most relief I've ever felt.

Later on, I threw away what was left of the everclear and washed my sheets.