So anyway, I was so damned excited about the free open bar I made a beeline to it as soon as we arrived at the Hollywood Casino. I ordered a crown and coke because I don't get to drink those that often, especially free ones.
When the initial thrill of the bar wore off, I got to a table and started playing blackjack. No matter how much money I threw down, it was gone within thirty minutes max. Becoming angry and agitated I picked up my drink and started to walk around.
I noticed one of my buddies had a glazed over look in his eyes. I walked over to him to see if he was feeling alright. He told me he had tried to hit on a girl, but when he went over to talk to her the chair he was in slipped out from under him and he had busted ass in the middle of the casino. A less drunk friend later told me he had run over and tried to jump into the chair, and that's why he ate it.
At this point in the evening I had gone over to the free bar numerous times and ordered numerous crown and cokes. But when I went back for my 5th or 6th, the bastards had cut me off. I was befuddled. Thoughts raced through my mind. "Open bar, right. I'm not that drunk am I? No. Hell no. I've been drunker that this before and convinced policemen I'm sober." I went to the bar one more time to see if they had made an oversight. Nope, denied again. I was beginning to lose hope. I went and pouted behind a pillar beside the "free" bar. Just then I saw Wacker, and a brilliant plan was conceived.
I motioned Wacker to come behind the pillar. When he did, I told him to go to the free bar and get me a c&c. In a very non-chalant manner, he walked to the "free" bar and ordered a c&c and a corona. The big stupid asshole fuckhead bartender looked at him and then looked in my direction, catching me peeking out from behind the pillar. He told Wacker "your friend's smart, but he's not that smart." Fuck you bartender, gimme that booze. As the night progressed, I got several others to get my drinks for me.
About the time we were ready to leave, I realized I hadn't gambled very much. I decided, in my drunken haze, that I was going all out, leave nothing out on the field, piss excellence, give 110%. I went to the atm and withdrew $100. mistake.
I strutted over to the roulette table and put $100 on red. Since my high school's color was red I figured I had it in the bag. black. shit.
I walked out of the casino defeated but still real drunk. The limo was waiting outside when I got there, but there was someone standing at the door. When I got closer, I could see it was an older woman talking to some of the guys in the limo. About the time I got to the door I could hear someone say "yeah Shep will pay you for that just ask him." Like an idiot I said "pay for what?" The woman turned around "pay to see these!" She flashed me the nastiest pair of grandma tits I have ever seen. When they hit her stomach it sounded like somebody slapping a piece of raw hamburger meat. "You owe me 8 bucks for that" I was still speechless. When I finally came to I said "fuck that" and dove in the car.
As we peeled away from horrific scene, grandma flashed us one more time and gave the finger. It was quite a show.
On the trip back I kept calling the driver and telling him to stop at a strip club. Edgar chimed in and said "or a waffle shoppe" (pronounced "shoppey" by Edgar). "OK driver you got this. What ever you see first strip club or waffle shoppey, but preferably strip club." I think he said ok but the phone in the limo was shitty, so I couldn't tell.
When I woke up we were at neither at waffle shoppey, or a strip club. I was pretty pissed, but I was more tired than anything so I let it ride.
Fretty contracted a disease from the limo seat and I lost a load of money and had to see granny boobs, but all in all it was a good trip.
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