Lab Partner's "Party"

Lee, Fretty, and I were at Buffalo Wild Wings on Friday watching the basketball games and enjoying some wings. If you've never been to Buffalo Wild Wings you're selling yourself short. It's a paradise for men. Big beers, hot wings, multiple HD televisions, smoking section, and the trivia game, just to name a few of the accoutrement. Anyway, as I was digging into my wings I got a call from my mineralogy lab partner. It was difficult to understand everything she said, but I did hear "party" and "you're invited." I have never hung out with Lab Partner outside of class, other than to exchange notes, so I thought it rather odd that she would invite me to a party.

We left Wild Wings a little while later and I began to worry about this "party" I had been invited to. The details she left in a subsequent message revealed that she was "having some people over to play games." I assumed the "games" were going to be drinking games since it was Saturday night and surely no one gets together and plays board games on Saturday night.

The next day I became more and more worried. I debated making up an excuse and just not going, but realized I told her I was going to go and I always feel real guilty when I back out of things. Still holding out for drinking games, I called her and asked her if I could bring any drinks, with a heavy emphasis on drinks. She told me that I didn't need to bring anything but myself... I knew then that it was going to be a dry party with actual board games.

Kicking myself for agreeing to this, I headed over to Lab Partner's apartment at La Mirage. I pulled in and saw a family of sparkling wiggles sitting on their porch making a bunch of noise and running around. One little wiggle had another pinned down while the big mammy wiggle fanned herself with a newspaper and yelled at the two liggle wiggles. Another wiggle was looking at me and my truck. I looked at him and locked my truck, making sure he knew it was locked and I would end him if he stole anything from me. For those who don't know, my truck got broke into by some sparkling wiggles and I am tired of their shit.

I found my way to Lab Partner's apartment to be greeted by a small crowd of peole I have never seen before and hope to never see again. There was a gay guy who greeted me with an overly gay "HI! BEN!" There were three chinese guys, one wore a black cotton glove with no fingers in a shitty homage to the matrix... or something. One chinaman was so quiet I couldn't hear him, and the other was a pre-med major (surprise). The rest of the crowd included a guy with gray hair, a pair of homely twins named Joy and Grace, and Lab Partner. I smiled as I met everyone and tried to look happy, eventhough I was rapidly dying inside.

So there I was, at a lame-ass party by myself with all these strangers whose idea of a fun Saturday night activity was getting together and playing board games. Did I mention that I was the third "Ben" to show up? You can't fathom the shitty jokes that flew around... you just can't. I contemplated sprinting out of there and never turning around.

We played a game called "Loaded Question." The game consisted of someone rolling a dice and drawing a card with a question on it. The group then each answered the question on a piece of paper and the answers were read to the person who rolled the dice, who had to guess who they thought wrote that particular answer. It couldn't have been a worse choice. The questions were completely retarded. One question was, "if there was a dictionary term to define the person on your left, what would it be?" Oh fucking great. Well, let me think, I've never met this person in my entire life and I'm supposed to define them with a dictionary term...fuck you game, and fuck you Lab Partner for inviting me to this crapfest. I had nothing to say so I wrote "a twin," because I sat by one of the twins and that was the only defining characteristic I knew about.

About an hour into the game, I was ready to go. Luckily another wave of people showed up, along with another "Ben." So I decided this was a great time to get my ass out of there. As they were pulling out another game to play, I stood up and said, "I actually have to go...it was nice to meet all ya'll." I'm pretty sure they heard me peeling out of the parking lot.

After that debacle, I went to George's in an attempt to forget the past hour and a half and move on with my life.

Lab Partner is lamer than I thought.