Shep Evades Arrest

Quite a few years ago I was attending a party on 10th street. At the time I was about 19 and was drinking illegally. This was back in the day when 10th street was the place to be, not the shit stain it is today. Anyway, I was having a great time drinking and bullshitting with other party goers when the police came by. It looked like a pile of roaches scattering after someone turned on a light.

I hauled ass back into the ally amongst 10 or 12 others. Everyone executed a scatter formation which is essentially protocol. I decided to head as far south as I could...which didn't end up being very far. As I came to a fence, I tried to hurdle it but caught the crotch of my jeans on a loose chain. When I fell shoulder first into the damp earth I heard my jeans rip. I laid there writhing in pain. Just then I saw a police car turn down the alley close to where I had attempted my hurdle. I thought fast and situated myself under a small shrub in an attempt to hide from my would be MIC.

The ally the cops were heading down was about 5 feet from my current hiding spot. I thought for sure I would be caught and considered getting up and running again. I held fast and hoped for the best. The car creeped down the ally with its spot light scanning the bushes and trees. As it got closer and closer I became more and more nervous. I saw the car passing my position, damn it was close, I could hear the police talking to one another. I laid as still as I ever have or possibly ever will. The spotlight passed over the tree I was hiding under, and the cops proceeded down the ally.

When I felt the coast was clear, I inched my way out from under the tree to see what had happened to my jeans. A large tear from just below my dangle to the middle of my shin was what I saw. It was a cold night and I felt the chill on my newly exposed leg. I crawled completely out and cautiously headed back to the house to see what the situation of the party was. Apparently I had run for no reason, because the party was in full swing. I asked someone what the cops did. He told me they drove off after they saw everyone run and didn't even hassle the folks who stayed back. He saw my jeans and had a good laugh.

I had no laugh, only a pair of torn jeans and a sore shoulder.