Legend Of The Swampbeast

For years cryptozoologists have been investigating a mysterious creature described as a drunk two-legged hominid with an affinity for whataburger. Many claim to have witnessed the creature known only as the Swampbeast. Eyewitness accounts say he is as mobile on land as he is in water, and will attack a boat unprovoked. Like Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster, the Swampbeast is the subject of much scientific controversy. Some claim he is some kind of missing-link neanderthal, others believe he is the cro-magnon man, while some contend he is simply a figment of over-stimulated collegiate mind.

One particular Swampbeast incident occurred on a ranch outside Clifton, Texas. A group of friends were out drinking on a pond. They had gone into the water to cool off and some had convened in a boat. About halfway across the pond, the men in the boat felt like they were being watched and smelled what they believed to be wet sulfur. All of a sudden they felt the boat rock. Trying to reestablish the boat's equilibrium, they saw the back of the Swampbeast as he dove deep for his final attempt at tipping the boat. Seconds later the boat sustained a lethal blow to the bow and took a titanic type spill. The men resurfaced to hear a faint laugh and a belch, the call of the Swampbeast.

Another incident happened while a group of friends were on a trip down to the Frio River in hopes of celebrating the 4th of July while floating down one of Texas' most beautiful natural landmarks. They had been floating for a few hours when they came to a rural part of the river. The entire trip had been littered with fellow river goers, but this part was completely empty. They thought they heard a belch, but wrote it off as a passing plane. Just then they began to smell the tale tell wet sulfur. The river began to gyrate and the smell became more potent. All of a sudden Woody was taken under the water and never seen again. Some claim he was not killed but once he resurfaced everyone was gone so he went to Mexico and is now known as Pasquale Benvinedes P.I. He is most famous for his single handed genocide of chihuahuas.