Super Soaker And Nerf... Where The Hell Are You?

When I was a kid, every other commercial on t.v. was for something kick-ass. Sure you had some life insurance commercials and the occasional car commercial, but right after that you were bombarded with an advertisement for some great toy that you would spend the next two weeks trying to get enough money together to buy. Be it G.I. Joe or Hot Wheels it was an intense-ass motivating ad. I think that is part of the problem with these lazy kids. I'm going to go ahead and say it. The absence of Nerf and Super Soaker have directly contributed to juvenile onset diabetes. When you saw John Elway throw that Vortex football a bugillion yards, you went out and tried to see how far you could throw it. When you saw everybody getting shot with a massive water gun, you ran outside and filled your gun up and went looking for somebody to hose down. The point is, that the youth of today do not have the same great urge to go outside and start a water fight or play a game of Nerf football. We did it because it looked like a ton of fun. Now they see a couple of fags playing some card game and they beg their parents to buy them a set. They sit in a room for hours playing a card game that is nothing more than the brainchild of a poor sad dungeons & dragons enthusiast. Next time you get a gift for a nephew or small cousin, please, buy them a big-ass water gun.