The quantity and recurrence of my escapades in marijuana have come into question and I am here to put all false notions to rest. To begin with, I am a fan of beer. It gets me where I want to go and at a pace I am comfortable with. It's all I really ever wanted, but there were those times when smoking a little pot seemed appealing and I acted on those instincts. But I am no pothead, even though I enjoy "Half-Baked" more than any normal person should. So here they are...my hilarious, intriguing, astonishing, outlandish, and sometimes sad, but always heartfelt adventures in the world cannabis.
1) Fall 02'- This was the first time I ever smoked pot, it was also the first time I'd ever seen it in real life. I didn't really know what to think about it, but I was befuddled by the amount of laughter spewing from that side of the room. It was welcome week at Baylor and I had met a buddy I went to high school with. He went to Texas, but his older brother went to Baylor and was a huge pot head. As the night went on, and I became drunker and drunker, the thought began to facilitate that I would like to try my hand at smoking weed. I was new to college and felt that I had deprived myself of several pleasures in the years leading up to this point. So, I took my first hit. The coughing was unbearable, and I could feel it in the back of my head. After the full body heaving had died down I sat down, watched a movie, and continued drinking. I noticed I wasn't high, or what I believed a "high" person should feel like based on movies and after school specials. I saw no unicorns or leprechauns, or even a yellow submarine for that matter. At about 4 o'clock am I head back to the dorm and subsequently throw up in the sink.
(a full version of this story can be found in the archives under "My First Day Of College")
2) Dec 03'-This next story involves some of the same players as the first and has a similar ending. I had met up with a couple of my buddies from high school over the Christmas break. We went over to a girl's apartment who also went to high school with us, and spent the majority of the night playing Presidents & Assholes. One of the guys I was with brought up the idea to go to Austin and hang out at a party his fraternity was having. I wasn't too keen on going, as I had seen some of the toolbags that frequent these shin-digs and had no desire to go. They eventually convinced me it would be fun and I ended up going against my better judgement. We got to Austin and looked for this shit-ass party for thirty minutes before finding it. Once we got there, the guys I came with disappeared. I was pissed. There I was at a party in Austin surrounded by a bunch of cretins throwing out popular catch phrases and high-fiving. I decided the only course of action was to get shitfaced and hopefully not get left behind. So I did. I ran into one of the guys when I went to the bathroom, and asked where the hell they had been. He fed me some bullshit answer, but I found out later they had gone down there so the could screw these two whores that were there. I was angry, but I was more drunk than angry so I quickly forgot about it. They told me about this other party we were going to on the other side of Austin that was "going to be alot cooler than this." "How could it get any cooler than this?" I wondered. So we headed back out to find another party. Sidenote: I hate doing this kind of cruising around 'swingers' bullshit. I like to plant myself somewhere with fun people who aren't douches. Anyway, we had to pull over on the way there because I had eaten some bad chili and it was coming back up with all the turning and weaving. I didn't quite make it all out of the car and had to throw away the Russell Athletic sweater I had on. It is probably still in that Austin suburb somewhere. I did feel much better by the time we got to the party and was ready to rally. I walked in the door and was offered weed right away. I took a hit, and grabbed a seat on the floor which was the only place to sit down. I took a couple more hits and began to feel sick again. The toke had made me lazy so all I did was lean over and puke in some chicks purse. I was banished to the back of the car to lay and wait until the others were finished partying and ready to go home. A nice girl did come out and check on me. She brought me a glass of water and asked how I felt. That's the last thing I remember before waking up at two the next day feeling like dogshit.
Summer 04'- I met up with some friends of mine who went to UMHB. These guys were not your typical UMHB students, they were actually cool guys who liked to hang out and drink. One evening, they had bought some pot from a guy and wanted to smoke up. I happened to be there, so I partook in the activities at hand. It was a great night, we ate chips and watched cartoons till around 3 in the morning. I have still never laughed so hard.
Fall 04'- Nick was a poker buddy of mine who played in our bi-weekly poker game. He was a cool guy and was always fun to hang out with. One weekend, Schoellkopf had a party at his house on tenth street. I attended, but quickly grew bored with the crowd of under aged girls screaming every time they saw one another. So I ventured down to Nick's house which was right down on the corner. I was welcomed in and asked if I wanted to smoke. I said "why not," and was introduced to "Stuart Little" the loving name they gave a tiny pipe for a single smoker. After I had "burned down" Stuart Little, I did see yellow submarines and the whole bit. I floated out of the house and went to pester Keene, but not before pissing on Burge's car and leaving him a note in the filth on his roof that read, "Burge- I pissed on your car. Love, Shep." I walked into Keene's house to find it occupied only by Kevin and his new girlfriend-at-the-time Jordan. I asked if I had interrupted anything and to please continue and not to mind me. I went in and crashed on Mac's dog bed and quickly passed out. A picture later circulated with Jordan getting cozy with my high-ass on that damn dog bed. It was in their wedding slide show.
Summer 06'- We had just gotten moved into the new Marie house and had just gotten settled in. I found out quickly that we had moved next door to Anthony, my freshman year roommate. He was a bonifide pothead and you were hard pressed to find a time he wouldn't be high. So I was over there one night and they were sitting in a circle smoking a bowl, so I decided to join in just for the hell of it. I didn't feel anything because it was probably real shitty anyway.
Summer 07'- Billy Bob's (scroll down)
So there you have it. An accurate account and catalog of my dealings in the world of Mary Jane. I hope this answered any questions there might have been (frettyblog) about my experience with illegal drugs.
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